Unworthiness To Abundance - You Are Called

Have you ever felt unworthy, inadequate or possibly unqualified? 

Where do you dream of going with your life? 

Do you feel qualified enough to get there? 

Do you feel worthy enough to have what you want? 

Are you overcommitting and under-delivering in your life?

I know these questions all sound a bit 'Debbie Downer', but stick with me...

I want to help you through these feelings so you can find more confidence and become more at peace with where you're at in life.

I know that so many women, including myself, have seasons where they feel unworthy, unqualified and inadequate.  And it's paralyzing.  We have these dreams, ambitions, thoughts, and ideas about what we want our lives to be...but the stories of 'I'm not good enough', or 'I don't know enough', or 'I'm not educated enough', or 'I don't have enough experience', or whatever it may be, hold us back.

So, today I want to share with you 7 ways to step into worthiness, adequacy and a life you feel qualified to live.  Let's go, sis...

1. Affirmations

I'm a woman of affirmation.  Affirmation actually changed my life.  I started with simply journaling affirmations; 2-3 affirmations every single day reminding me of who I am and just speaking truth over my life.  At first, it felt hard, like something I had to check off the list.  But then I began to understand that these things were going from my mind down into my heart and I was starting to truly believe them with my soul.

Here are some affirmations from scripture that can remind you right now of who you are and who God says that you are.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made - Psalm 139:14

You are the righteousness of God - 2 Corinthians 5:21

Greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world - 1 John 4:4

You can do all things through Christ, who strengthens you - Philippians 4:13

You are God's workmanship created in Christ to do good works - Ephesians 2:10

You are God's child - Galatians 3:26

Action: whichever one of these stands out most to you, go and highlight it in your Bible and write about it in your journal.  Ask yourself why it resonates with you so much?  What made you choose this scripture?  Dive into it, read around it, and pray on it this week.

2. Increase self-awareness

What are your successes and what are your struggles?  What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses?  Self-awareness is huge.  It helps us to identify why we are doing what we're doing, why we're not doing what we want to, why we're inconsistent, why we feel inadequate, and what's really at the root of our actions and emotions. 

So much of the work that I get to do with women is in really figuring out the root cause of things so that we can pull that out, plant a little seed of faith and watch that grow and prosper. 

Action: Simply try and be more self-aware of the areas of life you feel like you excel at, and what areas you feel like you struggle with most.

No one is good at everything (and that is OK), but everyone is good at something.  What are you passionate about?  What really lights you up?  What are the things that come easy to you (I can promise you they don't come easy to everyone else)?  Take time to really ponder these things.  And then do the same with the things that you struggle with most.  When we can be more self-aware of the things that we're good at and the things that we're struggling with, we can live more intentional lives.

3. Comparison & negativity 

When we first start to feel unworthy, inadequate, or unqualified, a lot of times it's because of toxic thoughts of negativity, and just one negative thought can lead to so many others.  It can be oddly comforting to have that poor, pitiful me mentality when the reality is that helps no one and nothing invites negativity into your life except you.  Negativity won't help you change, transform, grow or evolve in any way at all.  

A lot of times, the feelings stem from comparison too.  Whether it's comparing your chapter 1 to someone's chapter 20, or you're comparing where you're at, at your age, to where someone else is at, at the same age.

Action: ask yourself where you find yourself playing the comparison game most.  Is it in your career?  Is it when you're around your family?  Is it when you're on Instagram?  Is it when you're with that one friend group?  Where do you feel like you are in this comparison trap?  

Wherever it is, you've got to create some boundaries around it.  You can take this one step deeper if you like and really analyze WHY you feel like you compare yourself in this area.  Is it because of a past experience?  An emotion that you've been carrying from past failure?  A lot of times, when it comes to body image comparison, it mostly comes from what someone has said to us growing up or there's a sense of failure when you commit to something and then you don't stick to it, winding you up back where you started, stuck in that vicious cycle we can get in.

4. Get to KNOW yourself

We've all wondered at one point or another what we're supposed to do with our lives.  Maybe you're 30 and you're in a job that you don't love and you're just confused about what the heck to do with your life.  Or maybe you're about to come out of college and you have a lot of fear right now because you have no idea how in the world you're supposed to choose what you're going to do for the rest of your life? 

Action: text someone who loves you; someone who's very close to you and knows you well and ask them to tell you the things that they love most about you and what they think your gifts are.

I found this one really hard to do because it feels like you're asking for affirmation.  But here's what it does for you; when you're in this cycle of beating yourself up, feeling like you're not good enough, at a loss about what you're gonna do with your life, or you just feel plain lost, a little bit of affirmation can change our mindset.  Being aware of how people perceive you allows you to see yourself in a different light and reminds you just how valuable you really are.  It's not about pride or ego, it's about not thinking of yourself less, or less of yourself. 

5. Get REAL with yourself

Are your negative words and self-talk based on how you feel about the way that you look?  I'll tell you what, when I was struggling with food freedom, dieting, and my body image, it made me feel so inadequate in so many areas of my life.  I had no clue how much my body image was in the way of my ability to find freedom.  It wasn't until I fully surrendered that I was set free and could begin living an abundant life with Christ.

Action: answer this question ^^ for yourself.  And then rewrite your story.  Maybe you can turn your insecurities into a gift and step fully into an abundant life.  Instead of focusing the things you don't like about yourself or you're insecure about, move what you're excited about and you're proud of to the forefront.  How would this change your relationship with others and God?  How would it allow you to live with gratitude instead of stress, anxiety and overwhelm?  Dig deep here.

 Imagine yourself the way you want God to see you.

6. Where are you looking for validation?

I know this might seem contradictory because I just said to go ask for affirmation if you need it.  But here, I mean on a day to day basis.  There's a difference between constantly seeking validation, and purely asking for affirmation from someone who really loves you to help you move forward.  It's the intention behind it.  It's important for us to receive affirmation and just as important to give it.  So make sure you tell people how amazing they are and how they've impacted your life.

Action: ask yourself who or what really validates you?  Is it your boyfriend and what he's saying about you?  Is it the success that you have right now in your career?  Is it within your marriage or your relationships?  Is it how you're doing in school? Is it your physical appearance and what the scale says?  Is it how you feel in your clothes or what you see in the mirror?  Is it photos on Instagram?

Where do you go currently for validation to feel worthy, to feel accepted, to feel loved, to feel confident?  Is it to God?  Sometimes we focus so much on the small things that we miss the big picture; our mission to love God.  I know how it can feel easier to go to others for validation.  Sometimes I go to my husband or my business for validation.  It used to be the mirror.  But mostly, it's now God.  Through seeking validation in God, you'll find a wholeness that you can't find in anything or anyone else.

7. Choose eternal vision - put your Jesus goggles on

I don't want any of my clients coming back to me in a year needing my coaching again.  I want them to be set free from the things that they felt bound from.  I want them to do what they actually say they're going to do.  That's my goal for all women.  That's why I'm a health coach.  I want to help women work on their internal health so they can go live out the life that God has called them to without feeling like a slave in their body.

Action: think about your favorite person on this earth.  Maybe it's your mom.  Maybe it's your best friend.  Maybe it's a youth group leader you had.  Maybe it's just some random person in your life that you really admire; a podcaster or author.  Whoever that person is, I want you to list 7 things that you love about them right now.  Then just sit and think about those 7 things; the reasons why you love your most favorite person.  Close your eyes and imagine a sit-down chat with Jesus and think about how he looks at you and what he would say if you asked him why he loves you.

I guarantee you that the way you feel and speak about why you love your favorite person is the same way God feels about you.  He would hold you by your shoulders and tell you the same things you'd tell them, but probably even greater things...because he's God.  And the truth is, He can't say anything about you that is greater THAN you.  The way God thinks of you is exactly how great you are!  Isn't that crazy?  And yet we live our lives, beating ourselves up, feeling inadequate, feeling unworthy, forgetting this huge blessing of life that we have, feeling like we're not enough.

We can all choose eternal vision.  We can put on our Jesus goggles every single day.  It's a daily faith.  I call it chasing freedom because it's active...we are active kingdom builders.

Freedom Method Mentorship

If unworthiness is something you struggle with, then make sure you get on the Freedom Method Mentorship Waitlist today.  Getting on this waitlist will secure your spot in the Freedom Method Mentorship Program AND you'll get a FREE month of coaching support! 

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If this post resonated with you, take a listen to episode 72 of my podcast - The Chasing Freedom Show.  You can find it on  Spotify, iTunes, or SoundCloud.  If you love the episode, screenshot and share it with me on social media @trainertanner #chasingfreedom.

Xo,

Tan